Creating a Christian Culture: The Masterpiece of the Home
Every home has a culture – either good or bad, whether by design or by default. The culture of each home reflects the priorities and spiritual temperament of the household. Whether these priorities are deliberately thought out and explained, (or merely assumed), they impact each member of the family, permeating the atmosphere of the home and beyond.
Building a rich and vibrant family culture takes time. It takes initiative and perseverance. There will be seasons when a wife’s “culture-building” activities will be dominated by a steady stream of diapers and dirty laundry. Yet we must not miss the significance of these menial tasks – for they can be compared to the broad brush strokes upon a grand masterpiece.
Home is a place where memories are made, meals are shared, truths are learned, stories are told, and lives are formed and defined. It is a place of industry and usefulness; a place where thousands of cultural expressions are conveyed and where a family’s unique flavor and culture are cultivated.
Christian women must reject any distorted view of the modern housewife – whether it be the miserable household drudge; the fanatical, sock-matching wonder-woman; the child-centered, worn out soccer mom; or the deceptive, apron-wearing vixen. When we consistently renew our minds by absorbing scripture and by passionately embracing the sacred calling God has truly given us women, we refute the perverted image of the desperate housewife by believing His promises and showing the world there is something better for which we can truly be passionate!
The Blessing of a Fruitful Womb
In June 2007, World magazine reported that when couples were asked to rank what was most important in marriage from a range of nine options, having children cam in eighth. Sadly, “only 41 percent of Americans now view having children as ‘very important’ to a successful marriage, down from 65 percent in 1990.” This mindset is not limited to unbelievers, as many Christian couples fail to wholeheartedly seek the blessing of the womb, at times considering children an encumbrance to other personal goals…
Though the world’s concerns are shifting sand (Matthew 7:27), God’s Word is timeless. While children today are considered an expense and a burden, God’s Word calls them a reward – a heritage. They are probably the only gift (Deuteronomy 7:13-14) that we no longer desire in abundance. Furthermore, under the leadership of a godly man, children are considered “arrows” aimed against ungodliness:
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)
AS mothers, we should view the opportunity we have to bear and bring up children as a high honor bestowed upon us by the Lord, not a lowly burden to endure. We should rejoice that God has created us to bring into the world precious souls who will glorify Him, warriors who will contend with the enemies of God. The blessing that Rebekah’s family gave her when she married Isaac ought to resonate in our hearts: “Our sister, may you become the mother of thousands of ten thousands; and may your descendants possess the gates of those who hate them.” (Genesis 24:60)
“Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments…and He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb…” (Deuteronomy 7:9,13)
A Crown For Him
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband…” (Proverbs 12:4)
…my good friend Janet – mother of twelve and “granny” to another dozen – has sought over the years to act as her husband’s comely crown within their home rather than seek her own acclaim elsewhere:
I have been married to the same man for nearly 34 years. I have kept his home and done his laundry (but not his socks; at least not always on time!) I have prepared his meals, answered his phone, and run his errands. I have carried, birthed, nursed and taught his children. I have prayed for them and delighted in them – for they are mine too!
Contrary to the feminists’ promise, I haven’t woken up and found that all of those years and all of those tasks were wasted. In fact, I believe more than ever that God is pleased with my servant’s heart, and that He is glorified by my nose-wiping, my dish-doing, and my child-rearing.
When I examine my life in Christ, I realize that God has used my marriage and my children to refine my rough edges and make me more Christ-like. How would I have learned patience and trust in a sovereign God, were it not for wayward children? How would I have learned submission, were it not for a husband who did not always see things my way?
So working outside the home would have been more fulfilling? How could having a boss (other than my husband who loves, appreciates, and respects me, who knows my strengths and encourages my talents) have been better? There is nothing more satisfying than working with my husband to raise our children to love and glorify God. I have seen the fruit of my labors in the homes of our married children – as they too invest their lives raising their children to love and glorify the Lord (3 John 4).
Jesus made Himself of no reputation. He did not seek after degrees or recognition. He was content to stay in a tiny area and minister to a miniscule group of people whom the world viewed as insignificant. Kind of like a homemaker , under the authority of her loving husband, ministering to the children who need her.
Heavenly Hands
Often we don’t view our daily activities biblically. We wrongly believe that the more mundane the task, the less significant it is to God. As difficult as it may be to believe, the hands that tenderly bathe your baby at night are no less holy than the hands that serve you communion on Sunday. Every small act of love to your family – every diaper you change, every meal you prepare, every toilet you scrub, every errand you run, every fever you tend to, each tooth you pull, every moment of undefiled intimacy you share with your husband – each one is a holy act when it’s done as unto the Lord.
Over the years, I have learned that so much depends on my being home – my being available to the needs of my husband and my children. Our older children are wonderful helpers, but they are not “Mom.” Our little ones need my attention, training, correction, teaching, reassurance, and boo-boo-kissing. Our older children still need me for many of those things as well. But they require Mom’s attention in other ways too. They need challenging conversation, scriptural counsel, intimate friendship, and advanced home-training.
My husband needs me to be available in a myriad of ways. I may return phone calls for him, write letters, edit emails, make purchases, run errands, pay bills, counsel and pray with him, and yes – even kiss a boo-boo or two! Husbands need attention, and being available to your husband is crucial to your relationship to him.
A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 3
Being a keeper at home is a holy mission; it is a rewarding duty that we as women are to passionately undertake. As part of our sacred call, we are to wisely build a godly, spiritual dynasty (Proverbs 14:1) by helping our husbands advance seven culture-transforming missions which Doug Phillips has summarized so well:
The household is the God-ordained seat of education. It is the first place where we are to develop and communicate a distinctively different Christian aesthetic for culture. The home is not to be relegated to a mere place for consumption, but transformed into a powerful tool for industry and production. In the household (not the state welfare agency) we find God’s true pattern for multi-generational, covenantal care. The home, not even the temple or church meeting house, has always been the God-ordained primary focus for daily worship. Our homes not only provide us with a platform to honor God’s non-optional commands for one-anothering and hospitality, but they were designed to be the most powerful forums for evangelism and discipleship in the Christian’s arsenal.
Ladies, we have a great and glorious work before us. Keeping the home has been entrusted to us by God. Under the leadership of our husbands, we are to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6); we are to create beauty and comfort within our homes (Proverbs 31:22); and the work of our hands should reflect industry and productivity (Proverbs 31:13-21). We are to worship alongside of our children, teaching them the laws of God (Proverbs 6:20) night and day (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). We are commanded to practice hospitality to strangers and friends alike (1 Peter 4:8-9) – sacrificing in love a portion of ourselves (1 John 3:16) to those who enter our homes.
Using our gifts and talents to glorify God in our role as helpers to our husbands, all within the well-choreographed dance of home life, imparts a quiet lesson to a watching world and communicates true contentment in the loveliness of womanhood. It declares “His glory among the heathen, His wonders among the people” (Psalm 96:3) and multiples the generations of those who love and glorify God.
A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 2
[Let me preface this next section by saying that because some of us may be married to non-believing husbands, there are biblical ideals that may not be necessarily attainable. It’s important to remember though, that this is not because God’s standards for living are impossible. Instead, it is due to the fact that we live in a fallen world, tainted with sin…and sometimes we must deal with the consequences of our past decisions or the decisions of others close to us. Either way, we must remember that God’s Word is still correct, relevant, and optimal…and we should do all we can to live accordingly.]
…Even as a husband and wife undertake their dominion work together, they have different priorities. In the family economy, God has ordained a distinct division of labor between a man and his bride. Though a woman may bring extra income into the household by her various home-based offerings, the husband is to be the primary provider for the family. Through hard work (Genesis 3:19; Proverbs 28:19), and the avoidance of folly (Proverbs 13:18), he must ensure that his family’s needs are met. Men who fail to do this are deemed as worse than unbelievers (1 Timothy 5:8).
In contrast, the wife’s primary role is that of mother and home-keeper. She is to diligently attend to the affairs of their home (Proverbs 31:27), even as she bears (Genesis 3:15; Genesis 24:60; 1 Timothy 2:15) and cares (1 Samuel 1:23; Proverbs 31:21) for their children…
…In his letter to Titus [Paul says] young wives are to be exhorted to “be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5)
The text of the Scripture is straightforward and unequivocal: a woman’s duties are to be home-centered, and if we spurn this directive we cause God’s Word to be blasphemed (Titus 2:5) and risk bringing reproach upon the Body of Christ (1 Timothy 5:14). As families shrink and daycares flourish, we also see the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the God-ordered home – yet too often we don’t recognize the connection.
[For further reference on this subject: http://www.gty.org/Resources/Study+Guides/40-0552_The-Fulfilled-Family?q=the+fulfilled+family ]
[Caution: Tough teaching ahead in the next few days. Have your hearts and your Bibles open…!]
A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt.1
[In this section, Stacy McDonald outlines the roles God gave to Adam and Eve. God Created Adam, placed him in the Garden of Eden, and commissioned him to tend it. God instructed Adam to name all the animals, and Adam realized that “there was not found a helper comparable to him” Genesis 2:18. God did not intend to keep it that way, so answered Adam’s deep need and created Eve. God commissioned Adam and Eve to]:
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28
[Stacy goes on to say]:
God could have simply raised up a woman from the dust of the earth – an independent creature who could keep Adam company and even partner with him in subduing the earth by pursuing equal and separate ventures. Yet He instead caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and from man’s own rib God fashioned his glorious completer – woman. (1Corinthians 11:7-9)
Eve was Adam’s perfect complement, his crowning glory; she was created for the express purpose of completing and helping him to take dominion of God’s creation. They were now one flesh for as long as they both should live (Matthew 19:6) – “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).
…within this covenant God provides a vivid picture of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:23-33), and reveals to us volumes about the husband-wife relationship.
In serving as her husband’s helper, a wife performs many valuable roles. She is to be his solitary lover (Gen. 2:24; Song of Sol. 4; Prov. 5:19), his counselor (Prov. 31:26; 1 Kings 1:16-21), and his closest friend (1 Peter 3:17; Eph. 5:33). She has the unique honor of mothering his children (Gen. 1:28, 3:20, 24:60) and keeping the home (Prov. 31:27; 1 Tim. 5:14; Titus 2:4-5). In all of her tasks, she seeks to further him as a man. His work of dominion is her work; she embraces his vision as her own as she promotes and enhances his life pursuits.
[Stay tuned...it get's a little tougher.] ;-)
