"Passionate Housewives," pt 16

A Crown For Him

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband…”  (Proverbs 12:4)

…my good friend Janet – mother of twelve and “granny” to another dozen – has sought over the years to act as her husband’s comely crown within their home rather than seek her own acclaim elsewhere:

I have been married to the same man for nearly 34 years.  I have kept his home and done his laundry (but not his socks; at least not always on time!)  I have prepared his meals, answered his phone, and run his errands.  I have carried, birthed, nursed and taught his children.  I have prayed for them and delighted in them – for they are mine too!

Contrary to the feminists’ promise, I haven’t woken up and found that all of those years and all of those tasks were wasted. In fact, I believe more than ever that God is pleased with my servant’s heart, and that He is glorified by my nose-wiping, my dish-doing, and my child-rearing.

When I examine my life in Christ, I realize that God has used my marriage and my children to refine my rough edges and make me more Christ-like.  How would I have learned patience and trust in a sovereign God, were it not for wayward children?  How would I have learned submission, were it not for a husband who did not always see things my way?

So working outside the home would have been more fulfilling?  How could having a boss (other than my husband who loves, appreciates, and respects me, who knows my strengths and encourages my talents) have been better? There is nothing more satisfying than working with my husband to raise our children to love and glorify God. I have seen the fruit of my labors in the homes of our married children – as they too invest their lives raising their children to love and glorify the Lord (3 John 4).

Jesus made Himself of no reputation.  He did not seek after degrees or recognition.  He was content to stay in a tiny area and minister to a miniscule group of people whom the world viewed as insignificant.  Kind of like a homemaker , under the authority of her loving husband, ministering to the children who need her.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 15

Heavenly Hands

Often we don’t view our daily activities biblically.  We wrongly believe that the more mundane the task, the less significant it is to God.  As difficult as it may be to believe, the hands that tenderly bathe your baby at night are no less holy than the hands that serve you communion on Sunday.  Every small act of love to your family – every diaper you change, every meal you prepare, every toilet you scrub, every errand you run, every fever you tend to, each tooth you pull, every moment of undefiled intimacy you share with your husband – each one is a holy act when it’s done as unto the Lord.

Over the years, I have learned that so much depends on my being home – my being available to the needs of my husband and my children.  Our older children are wonderful helpers, but they are not “Mom.”  Our little ones need my attention, training, correction, teaching, reassurance, and boo-boo-kissing.  Our older children still need me for many of those things as well.  But they require Mom’s attention in other ways too.  They need challenging conversation, scriptural counsel, intimate friendship, and advanced home-training.

My husband needs me to be available in a myriad of ways.  I may return phone calls for him, write letters, edit emails, make purchases, run errands, pay bills, counsel and pray with him, and yes – even kiss a boo-boo or two!  Husbands need attention, and being available to your husband is crucial to your relationship to him.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 14

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 3

Being a keeper at home is a holy mission; it is a rewarding duty that we as women are to passionately undertake.  As part of our sacred call, we are to wisely build a godly, spiritual dynasty (Proverbs 14:1) by helping our husbands advance seven culture-transforming missions which Doug Phillips has summarized so well:

The household is the God-ordained seat of education.  It is the first place where we are to develop and communicate a distinctively different Christian aesthetic for culture.  The home is not to be relegated to a mere place for consumption, but transformed into a powerful tool for industry and production. In the household (not the state welfare agency) we find God’s true pattern for multi-generational, covenantal care.  The home, not even the temple or church meeting house, has always been the God-ordained primary focus for daily worship.  Our homes not only provide us with a platform to honor God’s non-optional commands for one-anothering and hospitality, but they were designed to be the most powerful forums for evangelism and discipleship in the Christian’s arsenal.

Ladies, we have a great and glorious work before us.  Keeping the home has been entrusted to us by God.  Under the leadership of our husbands, we are to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6); we are to create beauty and comfort within our homes (Proverbs 31:22); and the work of our hands should reflect industry and productivity (Proverbs 31:13-21).  We are to worship alongside of our children, teaching them the laws of God (Proverbs 6:20) night and day (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). We are commanded to practice hospitality to strangers and friends alike (1 Peter 4:8-9) – sacrificing in love a portion of ourselves (1 John 3:16) to those who enter our homes.

Using our gifts and talents to glorify God in our role as helpers to our husbands, all within the well-choreographed dance of home life, imparts a quiet lesson to a watching world and communicates true contentment in the loveliness of womanhood.  It declares “His glory among the heathen, His wonders among the people” (Psalm 96:3) and multiples the generations of those who love and glorify God.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 13

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 2

[Let me preface this next section by saying that because some of us may be married to non-believing husbands, there are biblical ideals that may not be necessarily attainable. It’s important to remember though, that this is not because God’s standards for living are impossible.  Instead, it is due to the fact that we live in a fallen world, tainted with sin…and sometimes we must deal with the consequences of our past decisions or the decisions of others close to us.  Either way, we must remember that God’s Word is still correct, relevant, and optimal…and we should do all we can to live accordingly.]

 …Even as a husband and wife undertake their dominion work together, they have different priorities.  In the family economy, God has ordained a distinct division of labor between a man and his bride.  Though a woman may bring extra income into the household by her various home-based offerings, the husband is to be the primary provider for the family. Through hard work (Genesis 3:19; Proverbs 28:19), and the avoidance of folly (Proverbs 13:18), he must ensure that his family’s needs are met.  Men who fail to do this are deemed as worse than unbelievers (1 Timothy 5:8).

In contrast, the wife’s primary role is that of mother and home-keeper.  She is to diligently attend to the affairs of their home (Proverbs 31:27), even as she bears (Genesis 3:15; Genesis 24:60; 1 Timothy 2:15) and cares (1 Samuel 1:23; Proverbs 31:21) for their children…

…In his letter to Titus [Paul says] young wives are to be exhorted to “be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5)

The text of the Scripture is straightforward and unequivocal: a woman’s duties are to be home-centered, and if we spurn this directive we cause God’s Word to be blasphemed (Titus 2:5) and risk bringing reproach upon the Body of Christ (1 Timothy 5:14).  As families shrink and daycares flourish, we also see the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the God-ordered home – yet too often we don’t recognize the connection.

[For further reference on this subject: http://www.gty.org/Resources/Study+Guides/40-0552_The-Fulfilled-Family?q=the+fulfilled+family ]

"Passionate Housewives," pt 12

 [Caution: Tough teaching ahead in the next few days.  Have your hearts and your Bibles open…!]

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt.1

[In this section, Stacy McDonald outlines the roles God gave to Adam and Eve.  God Created Adam, placed him in the Garden of Eden, and commissioned him to tend it.  God instructed Adam to name all the animals, and Adam realized that “there was not found a helper comparable to him” Genesis 2:18.  God did not intend to keep it that way, so answered Adam’s deep need and created Eve.  God commissioned Adam and Eve to]:

“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28

[Stacy goes on to say]:

God could have simply raised up a woman from the dust of the earth – an independent creature who could keep Adam company and even partner with him in subduing the earth by pursuing equal and separate ventures.  Yet He instead caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and from man’s own rib God fashioned his glorious completer – woman.  (1Corinthians 11:7-9)

Eve was Adam’s perfect complement, his crowning glory; she was created for the express purpose of completing and helping him to take dominion of God’s creation.  They were now one flesh for as long as they both should live (Matthew 19:6) – “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).

…within this covenant God provides a vivid picture of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:23-33), and reveals to us volumes about the husband-wife relationship.

In serving as her husband’s helper, a wife performs many valuable roles.  She is to be his solitary lover (Gen. 2:24; Song of Sol. 4; Prov. 5:19), his counselor (Prov. 31:26; 1 Kings 1:16-21), and his closest friend (1 Peter 3:17; Eph. 5:33).  She has the unique honor of mothering his children (Gen. 1:28, 3:20, 24:60) and keeping the home (Prov. 31:27; 1 Tim. 5:14; Titus 2:4-5).  In all of her tasks, she seeks to further him as a man. His work of dominion is her work; she embraces his vision as her own as she promotes and enhances his life pursuits.


[Stay tuned...it get's a little tougher.]  ;-)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 11

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers, pt. 3

In her book, “The Feminine Mystique,” feminist heroine Betty Friedan collected hundreds of letters from women who all seemed to be plagued with a similar “strange, dissatisfied voice stirring within.”  One woman contacted Ms. Friedan, hoping for answers to her despair.  She writes:

“But who cares about a 'helpless' lonely housewife’s life being wasted away by the kitchen sink. About all the millions of potentialities whittling away in quiet desperation…”

What Friedan couldn’t tell this woman was that the starvation of the soul she experienced would not be satisfied by the cold bondage of the feminist gospel. The “wasted” life she bemoaned cam from living a futile life of sin and hopelessness…

Those “millions of potentialities” she lamented were her gifts – gifts that were not meant to be hidden under the kitchen sink any more than they were to be restricted to a boardroom.  Our Creator has given us women a glorious station where we are to employ and invest the talents He has given us.  When we recognize and fully embrace our calling, we are finally free to truly enjoy it; we’re able to experience contentment in the uniqueness of our role and achieve overwhelming victory in our homes and lives!

"Passionate Housewives," pt 10

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers, pt. 2

…Even those of us moms who have chosen to go against the grain can still be lulled by feminism’s lies.  We can be lured by the insidious notion that being separated from our home and little ones is a good thing.  We too can become convinced that it’s better for everyone if Mom pursues her own interests.  I know; it’s happened to me.

When my children were small, I remember considering the use of a mothers’ day out program at a nearby, local church.  I wasn’t sure it was the best idea, since I was truly grateful to be home with my children; but our family had just moved, I had a newborn baby, and I was tired of chasing a toddler in the midst of opening boxes and running a home. So the thought of a “break” a few times a week sounded good.

I also reasoned that it might give me opportunities to “minister” to others – opportunities seemingly lost in the day-in and day-out of mashing bananas and potty training. I considered the various “women’s ministries” that were available at the church we were attending and wondered which ones matched the time slot of my newly-discovered hours of freedom. I reasoned that it would be good for my son to interact with other toddlers, learn new Bible songs, and obtain a little preschool-style education that I didn’t always have time to provide.

So one day, I did it. I took my two-year-old bundle of bona fide boy-power to a Christian mother’s day out program.  It would be “good for him,” I reasoned.  And “good for me too,” I thought, as I eagerly considered the free time I’d have.  As I signed the paperwork, one of the workers looked at my sleeping, eight-week-old angel of a girl and asked, “Will she be staying too?”

“No!” I answered protectively.  Almost immediately a charge of guilt shot through my soul.  Why was I willing to give up the “difficult” one, but not my angelic sleeping newborn?  As I drove away, I reminded myself that it was only for a few hours.  I tried to pretend I didn’t hear his cries in my head.  Yet after several “play times” at mothers’ day out, it didn’t get any better.  He seemed to know as soon as we drove into the parking lot that mommy was going to leave him here – at this place.

One day, as I left the building, I brushed my fingertips on the paper animals on the wall that were entering Noah’s Ark and tried to convince myself that leaving him here was a good thing.  “It’s a Christian environment,” I told myself. However, as I drove away, the thought hit me, “What in the world am I doing?  This is what I’ve wanted all along – to be able to stay home with my babies!  If I’m not forced to send him to daycare, then why would I want to leave him crying in a ‘mother’s day out’ program?  What’s the difference?”

Deep down, I knew that I hadn’t left him in the care of others for my feigned reason of socialization or so that he could enjoy a Christian environment; he received every bit of that at home and more.  The reason I had made my choice was plainly and honestly spelled out in the name of the program, “Mothers’ Day Out.”  It was so that I could have a day out – a day off – time for myself without the “burden” of caring for my busy toddler.

Almost in tears, I turned the van around, hurriedly parked, and ran back into the church.  When I got there, I observed a little girl in a playpen who desperately needed a nose-wiping – though nobody seemed to notice.  I heard another toddler about my son’s age, screaming in a rage over being “locked” in his high chair – he had been “mean” to the other toddlers.  One of the teachers told me he was sentenced to the high chair often.

I gathered my little one and headed to the van, never to return.  I thanked God for the option that so many women don’t have – of being with my children – not being forced to leave my precious little ones while I worked at a job to support them.

I realized right then and there that feminism’s empty charm had tugged on my heart – that even as a Christian woman, I was vulnerable.  While I had a “choice” of whether to tend to my home or to seek outside pursuits away from my family, I recognized that I was prone to wander whenever I let God’s grand vision for womanhood slip from my mind.

If I Could afford Help, I Could Enjoy My Children More

Okay...I'll admit it....I'm a Dr. Laura fan!  And while I understand that she is not a follower of Jesus Christ, she does have some great things to say.  I don't agree with every little thing she says, because again, she isn't a believer.  But instead of "throwing the baby out with the bathwater," I filter everything she says through the Word of God...and in the end, I find little nuggets of practical encouragement from her.

Anyway, I get emails from her website now and then.  This morning, I got an email update about a recent video she posted on her YouTube channel.  This was the description:

"Suppose you're a stay-at-home mom in a nice middle class neighborhood. While you're running after your kids, you notice that your neighbors have more time for the gym and shopping and still seem to enjoy their kids because they have some additional help. Slowly, you begin to resent your situation, and envy theirs, coming to the conclusion that 'if you only had help,' you could enjoy your children more."

It seemed to tie in with our readings in "Passionate Housewives," so I watched the video...and enjoyed it.  I thought I's share it with you all...(it's just under 4 1/2 minutes):

http://www.youtube.com/drlaura 

"Passionate Housewives," pt 9

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers

French author and feminist Simone de Beauvoir warned her fellow feminists that if they were to be successful in their agenda, they must destroy “maternity and maternity instincts” in women.  She went on to say:

“No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children.  Society should be totally different.  Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice too many women will make that one.”

Authorized?  So rather than be chained to our stoves, as we’re accused of being, we’ll be chained to our typewriters – or worse yet, we’ll be chained to someone else’s typewriter?

American critic and memoirist Vivian Gornick had similar plans for women:

“Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be.  The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”

So the proponents of “choice” once again want to give us no choice but theirs!