"Passionate Housewives," pt 18

Creating a Christian Culture: The Masterpiece of the Home

Every home has a culture – either good or bad, whether by design or by default.  The culture of each home reflects the priorities and spiritual temperament of the household.  Whether these priorities are deliberately thought out and explained, (or merely assumed), they impact each member of the family, permeating the atmosphere of the home and beyond.

Building a rich and vibrant family culture takes time.  It takes initiative and perseverance.  There will be seasons when a wife’s “culture-building” activities will be dominated by a steady stream of diapers and dirty laundry.  Yet we must not miss the significance of these menial tasks – for they can be compared to the broad brush strokes upon a grand masterpiece.

Home is a place where memories are made, meals are shared, truths are learned, stories are told, and lives are formed and defined.  It is a place of industry and usefulness; a place where thousands of cultural expressions are conveyed and where a family’s unique flavor and culture are cultivated.

Christian women must reject any distorted view of the modern housewife – whether it be the miserable household drudge; the fanatical, sock-matching wonder-woman; the child-centered, worn out soccer mom; or the deceptive, apron-wearing vixen. When we consistently renew our minds by absorbing scripture and by passionately embracing the sacred calling God has truly given us women, we refute the perverted image of the desperate housewife by believing His promises and showing the world there is something better for which we can truly be passionate!

"Passionate Housewives," pt 17

 The Blessing of a Fruitful Womb

In June 2007, World magazine reported that when couples were asked to rank what was most important in marriage from a range of nine options, having children cam in eighth.  Sadly, “only 41 percent of Americans now view having children as ‘very important’ to a successful marriage, down from 65 percent in 1990.”  This mindset is not limited to unbelievers, as many Christian couples fail to wholeheartedly seek the blessing of the womb, at times considering children an encumbrance to other personal goals…

Though the world’s concerns are shifting sand (Matthew 7:27), God’s Word is timeless. While children today are considered an expense and a burden, God’s Word calls them a reward – a heritage. They are probably the only gift (Deuteronomy 7:13-14) that we no longer desire in abundance.  Furthermore, under the leadership of a godly man, children are considered “arrows” aimed against ungodliness:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.  (Psalm 127:3-5)

AS mothers, we should view the opportunity we have to bear and bring up children as a high honor bestowed upon us by the Lord, not a lowly burden to endure.  We should rejoice that God has created us to bring into the world precious souls who will glorify Him, warriors who will contend with the enemies of God.  The blessing that Rebekah’s family gave her when she married Isaac ought to resonate in our hearts: “Our sister, may you become the mother of thousands of ten thousands; and may your descendants possess the gates of those who hate them.”  (Genesis 24:60)

“Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments…and He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb…” (Deuteronomy 7:9,13)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 16

A Crown For Him

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband…”  (Proverbs 12:4)

…my good friend Janet – mother of twelve and “granny” to another dozen – has sought over the years to act as her husband’s comely crown within their home rather than seek her own acclaim elsewhere:

I have been married to the same man for nearly 34 years.  I have kept his home and done his laundry (but not his socks; at least not always on time!)  I have prepared his meals, answered his phone, and run his errands.  I have carried, birthed, nursed and taught his children.  I have prayed for them and delighted in them – for they are mine too!

Contrary to the feminists’ promise, I haven’t woken up and found that all of those years and all of those tasks were wasted. In fact, I believe more than ever that God is pleased with my servant’s heart, and that He is glorified by my nose-wiping, my dish-doing, and my child-rearing.

When I examine my life in Christ, I realize that God has used my marriage and my children to refine my rough edges and make me more Christ-like.  How would I have learned patience and trust in a sovereign God, were it not for wayward children?  How would I have learned submission, were it not for a husband who did not always see things my way?

So working outside the home would have been more fulfilling?  How could having a boss (other than my husband who loves, appreciates, and respects me, who knows my strengths and encourages my talents) have been better? There is nothing more satisfying than working with my husband to raise our children to love and glorify God. I have seen the fruit of my labors in the homes of our married children – as they too invest their lives raising their children to love and glorify the Lord (3 John 4).

Jesus made Himself of no reputation.  He did not seek after degrees or recognition.  He was content to stay in a tiny area and minister to a miniscule group of people whom the world viewed as insignificant.  Kind of like a homemaker , under the authority of her loving husband, ministering to the children who need her.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 15

Heavenly Hands

Often we don’t view our daily activities biblically.  We wrongly believe that the more mundane the task, the less significant it is to God.  As difficult as it may be to believe, the hands that tenderly bathe your baby at night are no less holy than the hands that serve you communion on Sunday.  Every small act of love to your family – every diaper you change, every meal you prepare, every toilet you scrub, every errand you run, every fever you tend to, each tooth you pull, every moment of undefiled intimacy you share with your husband – each one is a holy act when it’s done as unto the Lord.

Over the years, I have learned that so much depends on my being home – my being available to the needs of my husband and my children.  Our older children are wonderful helpers, but they are not “Mom.”  Our little ones need my attention, training, correction, teaching, reassurance, and boo-boo-kissing.  Our older children still need me for many of those things as well.  But they require Mom’s attention in other ways too.  They need challenging conversation, scriptural counsel, intimate friendship, and advanced home-training.

My husband needs me to be available in a myriad of ways.  I may return phone calls for him, write letters, edit emails, make purchases, run errands, pay bills, counsel and pray with him, and yes – even kiss a boo-boo or two!  Husbands need attention, and being available to your husband is crucial to your relationship to him.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 14

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 3

Being a keeper at home is a holy mission; it is a rewarding duty that we as women are to passionately undertake.  As part of our sacred call, we are to wisely build a godly, spiritual dynasty (Proverbs 14:1) by helping our husbands advance seven culture-transforming missions which Doug Phillips has summarized so well:

The household is the God-ordained seat of education.  It is the first place where we are to develop and communicate a distinctively different Christian aesthetic for culture.  The home is not to be relegated to a mere place for consumption, but transformed into a powerful tool for industry and production. In the household (not the state welfare agency) we find God’s true pattern for multi-generational, covenantal care.  The home, not even the temple or church meeting house, has always been the God-ordained primary focus for daily worship.  Our homes not only provide us with a platform to honor God’s non-optional commands for one-anothering and hospitality, but they were designed to be the most powerful forums for evangelism and discipleship in the Christian’s arsenal.

Ladies, we have a great and glorious work before us.  Keeping the home has been entrusted to us by God.  Under the leadership of our husbands, we are to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6); we are to create beauty and comfort within our homes (Proverbs 31:22); and the work of our hands should reflect industry and productivity (Proverbs 31:13-21).  We are to worship alongside of our children, teaching them the laws of God (Proverbs 6:20) night and day (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). We are commanded to practice hospitality to strangers and friends alike (1 Peter 4:8-9) – sacrificing in love a portion of ourselves (1 John 3:16) to those who enter our homes.

Using our gifts and talents to glorify God in our role as helpers to our husbands, all within the well-choreographed dance of home life, imparts a quiet lesson to a watching world and communicates true contentment in the loveliness of womanhood.  It declares “His glory among the heathen, His wonders among the people” (Psalm 96:3) and multiples the generations of those who love and glorify God.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 13

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt. 2

[Let me preface this next section by saying that because some of us may be married to non-believing husbands, there are biblical ideals that may not be necessarily attainable. It’s important to remember though, that this is not because God’s standards for living are impossible.  Instead, it is due to the fact that we live in a fallen world, tainted with sin…and sometimes we must deal with the consequences of our past decisions or the decisions of others close to us.  Either way, we must remember that God’s Word is still correct, relevant, and optimal…and we should do all we can to live accordingly.]

 …Even as a husband and wife undertake their dominion work together, they have different priorities.  In the family economy, God has ordained a distinct division of labor between a man and his bride.  Though a woman may bring extra income into the household by her various home-based offerings, the husband is to be the primary provider for the family. Through hard work (Genesis 3:19; Proverbs 28:19), and the avoidance of folly (Proverbs 13:18), he must ensure that his family’s needs are met.  Men who fail to do this are deemed as worse than unbelievers (1 Timothy 5:8).

In contrast, the wife’s primary role is that of mother and home-keeper.  She is to diligently attend to the affairs of their home (Proverbs 31:27), even as she bears (Genesis 3:15; Genesis 24:60; 1 Timothy 2:15) and cares (1 Samuel 1:23; Proverbs 31:21) for their children…

…In his letter to Titus [Paul says] young wives are to be exhorted to “be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5)

The text of the Scripture is straightforward and unequivocal: a woman’s duties are to be home-centered, and if we spurn this directive we cause God’s Word to be blasphemed (Titus 2:5) and risk bringing reproach upon the Body of Christ (1 Timothy 5:14).  As families shrink and daycares flourish, we also see the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the God-ordered home – yet too often we don’t recognize the connection.

[For further reference on this subject: http://www.gty.org/Resources/Study+Guides/40-0552_The-Fulfilled-Family?q=the+fulfilled+family ]

"Passionate Housewives," pt 12

 [Caution: Tough teaching ahead in the next few days.  Have your hearts and your Bibles open…!]

A Sacred Calling of Purpose and Victory, pt.1

[In this section, Stacy McDonald outlines the roles God gave to Adam and Eve.  God Created Adam, placed him in the Garden of Eden, and commissioned him to tend it.  God instructed Adam to name all the animals, and Adam realized that “there was not found a helper comparable to him” Genesis 2:18.  God did not intend to keep it that way, so answered Adam’s deep need and created Eve.  God commissioned Adam and Eve to]:

“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28

[Stacy goes on to say]:

God could have simply raised up a woman from the dust of the earth – an independent creature who could keep Adam company and even partner with him in subduing the earth by pursuing equal and separate ventures.  Yet He instead caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and from man’s own rib God fashioned his glorious completer – woman.  (1Corinthians 11:7-9)

Eve was Adam’s perfect complement, his crowning glory; she was created for the express purpose of completing and helping him to take dominion of God’s creation.  They were now one flesh for as long as they both should live (Matthew 19:6) – “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).

…within this covenant God provides a vivid picture of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:23-33), and reveals to us volumes about the husband-wife relationship.

In serving as her husband’s helper, a wife performs many valuable roles.  She is to be his solitary lover (Gen. 2:24; Song of Sol. 4; Prov. 5:19), his counselor (Prov. 31:26; 1 Kings 1:16-21), and his closest friend (1 Peter 3:17; Eph. 5:33).  She has the unique honor of mothering his children (Gen. 1:28, 3:20, 24:60) and keeping the home (Prov. 31:27; 1 Tim. 5:14; Titus 2:4-5).  In all of her tasks, she seeks to further him as a man. His work of dominion is her work; she embraces his vision as her own as she promotes and enhances his life pursuits.


[Stay tuned...it get's a little tougher.]  ;-)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 11

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers, pt. 3

In her book, “The Feminine Mystique,” feminist heroine Betty Friedan collected hundreds of letters from women who all seemed to be plagued with a similar “strange, dissatisfied voice stirring within.”  One woman contacted Ms. Friedan, hoping for answers to her despair.  She writes:

“But who cares about a 'helpless' lonely housewife’s life being wasted away by the kitchen sink. About all the millions of potentialities whittling away in quiet desperation…”

What Friedan couldn’t tell this woman was that the starvation of the soul she experienced would not be satisfied by the cold bondage of the feminist gospel. The “wasted” life she bemoaned cam from living a futile life of sin and hopelessness…

Those “millions of potentialities” she lamented were her gifts – gifts that were not meant to be hidden under the kitchen sink any more than they were to be restricted to a boardroom.  Our Creator has given us women a glorious station where we are to employ and invest the talents He has given us.  When we recognize and fully embrace our calling, we are finally free to truly enjoy it; we’re able to experience contentment in the uniqueness of our role and achieve overwhelming victory in our homes and lives!

"Passionate Housewives," pt 10

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers, pt. 2

…Even those of us moms who have chosen to go against the grain can still be lulled by feminism’s lies.  We can be lured by the insidious notion that being separated from our home and little ones is a good thing.  We too can become convinced that it’s better for everyone if Mom pursues her own interests.  I know; it’s happened to me.

When my children were small, I remember considering the use of a mothers’ day out program at a nearby, local church.  I wasn’t sure it was the best idea, since I was truly grateful to be home with my children; but our family had just moved, I had a newborn baby, and I was tired of chasing a toddler in the midst of opening boxes and running a home. So the thought of a “break” a few times a week sounded good.

I also reasoned that it might give me opportunities to “minister” to others – opportunities seemingly lost in the day-in and day-out of mashing bananas and potty training. I considered the various “women’s ministries” that were available at the church we were attending and wondered which ones matched the time slot of my newly-discovered hours of freedom. I reasoned that it would be good for my son to interact with other toddlers, learn new Bible songs, and obtain a little preschool-style education that I didn’t always have time to provide.

So one day, I did it. I took my two-year-old bundle of bona fide boy-power to a Christian mother’s day out program.  It would be “good for him,” I reasoned.  And “good for me too,” I thought, as I eagerly considered the free time I’d have.  As I signed the paperwork, one of the workers looked at my sleeping, eight-week-old angel of a girl and asked, “Will she be staying too?”

“No!” I answered protectively.  Almost immediately a charge of guilt shot through my soul.  Why was I willing to give up the “difficult” one, but not my angelic sleeping newborn?  As I drove away, I reminded myself that it was only for a few hours.  I tried to pretend I didn’t hear his cries in my head.  Yet after several “play times” at mothers’ day out, it didn’t get any better.  He seemed to know as soon as we drove into the parking lot that mommy was going to leave him here – at this place.

One day, as I left the building, I brushed my fingertips on the paper animals on the wall that were entering Noah’s Ark and tried to convince myself that leaving him here was a good thing.  “It’s a Christian environment,” I told myself. However, as I drove away, the thought hit me, “What in the world am I doing?  This is what I’ve wanted all along – to be able to stay home with my babies!  If I’m not forced to send him to daycare, then why would I want to leave him crying in a ‘mother’s day out’ program?  What’s the difference?”

Deep down, I knew that I hadn’t left him in the care of others for my feigned reason of socialization or so that he could enjoy a Christian environment; he received every bit of that at home and more.  The reason I had made my choice was plainly and honestly spelled out in the name of the program, “Mothers’ Day Out.”  It was so that I could have a day out – a day off – time for myself without the “burden” of caring for my busy toddler.

Almost in tears, I turned the van around, hurriedly parked, and ran back into the church.  When I got there, I observed a little girl in a playpen who desperately needed a nose-wiping – though nobody seemed to notice.  I heard another toddler about my son’s age, screaming in a rage over being “locked” in his high chair – he had been “mean” to the other toddlers.  One of the teachers told me he was sentenced to the high chair often.

I gathered my little one and headed to the van, never to return.  I thanked God for the option that so many women don’t have – of being with my children – not being forced to leave my precious little ones while I worked at a job to support them.

I realized right then and there that feminism’s empty charm had tugged on my heart – that even as a Christian woman, I was vulnerable.  While I had a “choice” of whether to tend to my home or to seek outside pursuits away from my family, I recognized that I was prone to wander whenever I let God’s grand vision for womanhood slip from my mind.

If I Could afford Help, I Could Enjoy My Children More

Okay...I'll admit it....I'm a Dr. Laura fan!  And while I understand that she is not a follower of Jesus Christ, she does have some great things to say.  I don't agree with every little thing she says, because again, she isn't a believer.  But instead of "throwing the baby out with the bathwater," I filter everything she says through the Word of God...and in the end, I find little nuggets of practical encouragement from her.

Anyway, I get emails from her website now and then.  This morning, I got an email update about a recent video she posted on her YouTube channel.  This was the description:

"Suppose you're a stay-at-home mom in a nice middle class neighborhood. While you're running after your kids, you notice that your neighbors have more time for the gym and shopping and still seem to enjoy their kids because they have some additional help. Slowly, you begin to resent your situation, and envy theirs, coming to the conclusion that 'if you only had help,' you could enjoy your children more."

It seemed to tie in with our readings in "Passionate Housewives," so I watched the video...and enjoyed it.  I thought I's share it with you all...(it's just under 4 1/2 minutes):

http://www.youtube.com/drlaura 

"Passionate Housewives," pt 9

The Invasion of the Baby Snatchers

French author and feminist Simone de Beauvoir warned her fellow feminists that if they were to be successful in their agenda, they must destroy “maternity and maternity instincts” in women.  She went on to say:

“No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children.  Society should be totally different.  Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice too many women will make that one.”

Authorized?  So rather than be chained to our stoves, as we’re accused of being, we’ll be chained to our typewriters – or worse yet, we’ll be chained to someone else’s typewriter?

American critic and memoirist Vivian Gornick had similar plans for women:

“Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be.  The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”

So the proponents of “choice” once again want to give us no choice but theirs!

"Passionate Housewives," pt 8

Embracing Your Sacred Calling

Today, in even Christian circles, a homemaker’s vocation is viewed as optional, replaceable, and more like a hobby to fulfill her own needs than as a vital asset to the family…

Professional Mommies and Disposable Homemakers

[Speaking about women who give up their outside careers to be home, and run to the “experts” for advice on how to be “professional” stay-at-home moms]:

The well-intentioned professional mother dotes over her children, seeking to be the ever-attentive and educationally focused super-mom.  Unfortunately, many times, without a scriptural model, the “professional mom” creates a child-centered home – a fantasy household that is best described as the ultimate playground…

Finally…the exhausted “professional” stay-at-home mom burns out and goes back to work where at least she was appreciated and life was “easier.”

But never fear! If motherhood proves too taxing, for a competitive price, you can hire expert launderers, specialized teachers, trained cooks, certified daycare workers, and professional organizers for your household.  Who needs Mom?  We live in the age of the professional!

Young women are no longer trained by Mom to run the household because it would rob a girl of the “best years of her life.”

Being trained for homemaking is truly a think of the past; a girl who learns these skills is considered old-fashioned and dull.

[Stacy McDonald goes on to describe how offended she was that the hospital would not let her newborn go home with her until she had gone through the hospital’s mandatory “diaper-changing course,” where she had to watch a 19 year-old candy striper bathe and diaper Stacy’s infant before she was considered “fit.”  And this was Stacy’s SEVENTH child!  Sadly, she realized the reason for this procedure was because so many women today don’t know how to provide basic care for their babies.  So many can’t boil an egg, much less care for an infant and run the house.]

[In answer to the question, “how hard is it to push a vacuum and wipe a nose now and then?”]:

This is where we need fresh vision, because our work at home does so much more.  Rather than burden the wife and mother at home with a myriad of educational “musts” for her toddler or create a ridiculous picture of a daycare-flavored home life for her to emulate, why not give her a vision for what is real, what is industrious, and, most of all, what is important to the kingdom of God?

"Passionate Housewives," pt 7

Dying to Live

…The enemy of our souls knows that if he can’t convince us that God’s ways are wrong, he can at least try to convince us that we’ve misunderstood what God has said. If we would only give up our “unnecessary” convictions, we could have more of the good life, he tells us.

The truth is that biblical motherhood doesn’t mean we’re promised postcard-perfect days where we lounge together with our little ones on the porch swing in white starched dresses sipping lemonade and singing in harmony.  Homegrown children take a lot of hard work – and sometimes “it ain’t pretty.”  Other times, it’s breathtaking…

…To recognize our purpose in motherhood, we must see the godly generations beyond our own children (Genesis 24:60, Deuteronomy 4:9, 7:9).  This means denying ourselves (Matthew 16:25) and being consumed with God and His love for us.  It means starting each morning on our face in repentance and thanksgiving, pleading for His grace and for the strength to glorify Him in our children – and consequently, He will equip us to truly love them and prepare us to serve them through Christ our Lord.  It means impacting future generations by our faithfulness now.

We must die to self on a minute-by-minute basis.  “Die to self?” you may ask.  “What can that mean?”  Jesus said anyone who desired to come after Him must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Him (Matthew 16:25-26)…

…Do you feel like you’ve been “losing your life” lately?  Perhaps you’ve made the mistake of trying to save it.

We fail to accept the need to deny our flesh and die to self when we’re too busy “obeying our thirst.” Instead of crucifying the passions and desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:24), too often we go with the flow and listen  to the smooth marketers who ell us we desperately need what we don’t have – and, furthermore, convince us we need more of what we already have.

…If you feel desperate, are you willing to die – to self?  If your answer is yes, then hang on!  Because you are finally ready to truly live!

"Passionate Housewives," pt 6

Beware of Deception

False preachers, speakers, teachers, and bloggers are ready to tickle our ears under the guise of “freeing” and “encouraging” us.  Unfortunately, the only thing we find ourselves encouraged to do from such commentators is sin all the more, and the only thing we are truly free of is the truth.  While we’re busy navel gazing, other sins are left fermenting in a pool of self-justification.  We’re left spiritually barren – stagnant – and our lives and our families are rendered ineffective…

“Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8)

If you have been listening to heathen teachers, (television talk show hosts, secular authors, New Age gurus), then you can be certain that somewhere along the way you have been fed error…

“And He spoke a parable to them: ‘Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch?’”  (Luke 6:39)

How can you find out what God’s will truly is?  Turn back to Scripture for wisdom and truth.  Rather than being indoctrinated by the Pied Pipers of “me-ology,” allow His holy Word to renew your mind.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”  (Romans 12:2)

Remember that as a Christian you are compelled to “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.  But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.”  (2 Timothy 2:15-16)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 5

False Teachers and Modern Self-Help Gurus

“For when they [false teachers] speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh…”  ((2 Peter 2:18)

False teachers abound who know exactly what women want to hear.  Since many of these teachers are women, they know our fears; they know how we fail; they relate to our frustrations; they’re acquainted with our temptations; and they are fully aware of what we, in our flesh, don’t want to do – repent.

“While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption; for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought into bondage.”  (2 Peter 2:19)

If you sin, a plethora of teachers and psychologists will give you numerous reasons what it’s not your fault – you can blame your childhood, your lack of self-esteem, your body image, those demanding children, or that oppressive husband.  In addition, if you find yourself screaming at your children, don’t worry: it doesn’t mean you lack self-control or have sinful anger festering in your heart; it just means you need a little more “me-time.”

When we invite these spiritual coddlers to our pity party, they are lively and active guest. Full of flattery and sugary promises, they pat us on the back and offer us microwave motherhood – a fast and easy fix essentially void of any nutrition or taste – and, in the end, do more damage than just clogging our arteries.  They confuse the thinking and shipwreck the faith of vulnerable women.

“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers.” (2 Timothy 4:3)

Many of these teachers may claim Christ (some may even be pastors or elders); yet, because they fear that the true teachings of Scripture are too hard for people to bear, they soften and sugarcoat the truth.  The result is an ineffectual message, twisted beyond recognition and poisonous to the soul.  In an attempt to be popular or more widely accepted, they focus on the pleasant benefits that may come from living a godly life, often omitting the pain and sacrifice that is involved in our sanctification.

“Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.”  (John 12:42-43)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 4

I’ve fallen into this trap many times before, and this section of the book really helped me to see things more clearly...

Desperately Seeking “Me Time”

…Many times we’re given a long list of things that supposedly all women should have if they are to be happy, refreshed, and satisfied; yet sometimes they have nothing to do with our actual needs and don’t even resemble real desires we have.

…Please understand there is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of these things (physical pampering), as long as we understand that we don’t need them to be content or healthy and that we aren’t somehow deprived if we don’t’ get them.

…In the American pursuit to pamper the flesh, women are told to plan outings where they can spend more time alone (specifically without their children); read books and magazines that make them feel good about what they’re already doing; seek out friends who make them comfortable and praise them rather than challenge them…

…Again, there is nothing sinful about enjoying the blessings that God places in our paths. My point isn’t to convince you that anything that brings you physical pleasure is sinful (Gnosticism is a dangerous heresy), but rather to challenge you to honestly evaluate your thinking. In other words, in your desire for relief from your trials, are you only willing to listen to teaching that makes you feel better about yourself or what you want to be doing, but lacks the power to truly purge the dross from your life?

“Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Romans 8:12-14)

"Passionate Housewives," pt 3

Thank you to those of you who have already given me some great feedback on these “snippets.” It’s such a gift to be able to encourage each other in the Lord!

You Mean It’s Not All About Me?

“For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things.” (Philippians 3:18-19)

…God has given us all we need to satisfy our bodies and souls just as He did our first parents. Yet we still choose those things that please us rather than please Him. Instead of trusting that God will satisfy us, we continue to attempt to satisfy ourselves.

…We, that is, Christians as a whole, spend far more time reading self-help books, and listening to motivational speakers that we do reading God’s Word or praying and making our requests known to Him.

What About Me?

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Many well-meaning Christians want to share with us steps on how we should better serve ourselves and remind us of how much more we truly deserve, yet God clearly tells us we are to die to ourselves and serve Him by serving others.

…we were bought with a price, therefore we must glorify God in our bodies and in our spirits, which are God’s (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We belong to Him – purchased by His own precious blood. Therefore, no matter what He asks of us, it is never too much, and what He expects of us is clear:

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13)

…I remember once counseling a young woman who was having difficulty submitting to her husband. When I explained to her that Scripture required her to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, she insisted, with more than a little indignation, that it was impossible to submit to a man who wasn’t even trying to meet her needs. It was actually his fault, she explained, that she was forced to sin by not respecting him.

She went on to describe how her pastor had told her that Scripture didn’t require her to even love her husband (ignoring Titus 2:4); only her husband was given that mandate toward her. The neglectful minister also told my friend that she was only required to submit to her husband as long as he “loved her as Christ loved the church.” To make it even more confusing, she believed that she was the one who was to decide what “loving her” meant, which in her estimation included (among a long list of other things) how well he fathered their children.

I asked her pointedly, “So, are you saying that you believe you are only required to submit to your husband on the days when he ‘loves you as Christ loved the church?’”

“Yes,” she said resolutely. “When he shows me that kind of love, I will have no problem submitting to him.”

Her resolve quickly diminished when I pointed out to her that by her logic, her husband also would only be required to love her on those days when she submitted to him as unto the Lord. On the days when he viewed her behavior as unsubmissive, he was free to ignore and neglect her. I explained to her that if they both continued to insist on “living for self” rather than “dying to self,” neither would ever see success in their marriage. In addition, their children would view marriage as a miserably endless tug-of-war, rather than a picture of oneness played out in life-giving harmony.

…She repented and purposed to submit to her husband regardless of his response or the amount of love and attention he showed her and the children…

…It made all the difference in the world in her attitude; she was free to love her husband and family without expectation (Romans 12:10) – and God met her needs.

"Passionate Housewives," pt 2

What Are We Desperate For?

…Desperation is a condition which is natural to mankind. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that our hearts are desperately wicked. All of mankind is hopelessly in need of a Savior, and we are doomed to Hell without Him. Scripture tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). If we claim Christ, then in essence we are admittedly desperate for God. We know that we can do nothing without Jesus and that we can do all things (that He has called us to do) through Him (Philippians 4:13)

…As Christian women, we must learn to let Jesus satisfy our souls, for He will do a much better job at quenching our thirst than we ever could. Our attempts to satisfy ourselves will always leave us thirsting for more, never pleased or content – desperate indeed (John 4:13).

If you are feeling overwhelmed and desperate, you won’t find the answer in yet another self-help book or in a temporal bottle of pills. More self-esteem won’t quiet those inner yearnings or fears any more than a “better” body or new clothes will. Only Christ can satisfy your anxious heart and give you peace. Long for Him “as the deer pants for the water brooks” (Psalm 42:1). When your souls is disquieted, hope in God and praise His Holy name (Psalm 42:11).

An Answer to “Me-ology”

Two and a half years ago, when Jennie called to tell me her “hair was on fire” (a Southern term for being all “riled up”), I knew we had to do something. So what was so hair-raising? A friend had alerted Jennie to yet another “me-ology” book – that’s how we describe books that encourage women to “pamper” rather than “sanctify” their flesh. Page after page, the author told women it was okay to live for self – in fact, if you don’t feel like your relationship with God is productive, perhaps it’s your family’s fault for distracting you from the “important” things you could be doing!

This self-centered philosophy is a fallacy that we as Christian women must guard against. If we find ourselves in a position where we feel that serving our families gets in the way of serving Christ’s Kingdom, then we should fall on our faces and repent, because, chances are, if we’re not serving the Kingdom, we’re serving ourselves – not anyone else.

Serving our family is serving the Kingdom. Serving our husband and our little ones is serving Christ Himself – and neglecting them so that we can pursue self interests is neglecting the Kingdom of God – and Jesus Himself! “Inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me” (Matthew 24:45)

Ordinary Housewives Passionate for God

…While it may seem counterintuitive, the lesson is true: living more for self will only keep us further from that true we’re after as women. God wants us to know that we can’t do it all, so that He can do it through us – so that He can equip us with the grace and strength we need to accomplish His will – which includes serving Him by serving others. Then, at last, we can shed the millstone of fear and desperation and get truly passionate!

You can call us housewives, homemakers, or keepers at home; but we’re not desperate. Whatever challenges God brings us in our role as women, we have purposed to not lose heart or despair. And when we do fall into sin, God graciously reminds us of our utter reliance on and need for His sustaining grace…

Introduction - Preface

I’ve been reading a book entitled, “Passionate Housewives Desperate For God” by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald. I am really excited about how God has been using this book to challenge me in ways I didn’t know possible. Just when I think I understand it all, (haha!), I read the next chapter, and BAM! I get knocked in the head with yet a deeper truth that further challenges and convicts…and like the layers of an onion being pulled back one by one, I am coming to grips with so much deep-rooted pride in my heart that I didn’t notice before.

I would love to encourage all my “mommy” friends to please get a copy of this page-turner. I guarantee you will not regret it, and you will not be able to put it down.

I would love to share with you daily, (or as often as I can), snippets of what I’ve read in hopes that you will be encouraged…and even challenged a bit. Feel free to “reply all” and comment with your thoughts!

Preface: Dispelling the Myth – by Stacy McDonald

…Instead of treasuring women and properly utilizing their gifts, our culture has attempted to discard the beauty and uniqueness of biblical womanhood and create an emotionally androgynous power-woman whose worth is measured only by the degree of her ambition, the shape of her body, and her money-making potential. Rather than women renouncing this affront to their dignity, amazingly, the slaves are demanding their slavery!

Finders, Keepers!

…While today’s women may be bombarded with more media streams than their counterparts of previous generations, biblical femininity has always been an unusual quality. This is what led King Lemuel’s mother to observe, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). Virtuous women have always been rare, and oh, how precious they are!

…How does a woman, or girl on her way to womanhood, truly understand her rightful calling as a daughter of the King? The answer is this: that in Christ “are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3); and He has given us “all things that pertain unto life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:4) in the pages of His Holy Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17). And this includes the mysterious secret of what it means to be a virtuous woman of God – and to be a happy keeper of the home.

What a Godly Keeper at Home (Or Housewife) is Not

A godly keeper at home is absolutely not a lesser human being, a mindless robot, or a placid doormat under submission to all men; rather, she is created in the very image of God and of equal worth and value compared to man (Genesis 1:26-28). She is the crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4), a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18). Because she trusts God’s wisdom in establishing perfect order for His creation, she willingly submits to her own husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24).

In God’s economy, the godly housewife is no man’s slave or personal piece of property; for her worth is “far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:20). Nonetheless, she eagerly admits to being Christ’s slave, which paradoxically makes her free indeed (1 Corinthians 7:22). She laughs when she hears rumors that she is an oppressed victim of a male-dominated dictatorship, because she knows that God’s will is perfect and His Word timeless. Her place in society isn’t ruled by the culture, but by God’s unchanging and eternal Word. By God’s grace, she has no desire to question His ways (Isaiah 55:8); on the contrary, she rests in them.

Desperate Housewives

Still, there are more myths we need to dispel. In this book, we take the long-venerated ‘50s housewife, wearing high heels and pearls to vacuum the floor, and send her back to the land of fantasy where she belongs. Real women need to know that being helpers to their husbands, raising godly children, and properly managing their homes takes real work, but the rich reward a woman receives by diligently tending to the ways of her household is well worth the effort.

Yet even as the 1950’s cardboard caricature of the perfectly polished housewife must be upended, so too must the equally subversive notion of the “desperate housewife” which has made its way into the minds of most Americans.

Hollywood would like for us to believe that a woman who stays home serving her husband and children is not joyful and content, but desperate. Today we have television programs that divulge all the spicy details of what’s supposedly going on behind the closed curtains of those seemingly happy housewives. According to modern thought, although she may be smiling when she checks the mail, the cheerful mom across the street lives a life full of secret disappointment, anger, lust, adultery, insanity, and even murder. “Poor desperate housewife…if only she had a fulfilling career. If only her family didn’t drag her down. If only she would do something for herself for a change.”

This foolish image of sensual despondency on the part of the housewife is a twisted perversion of the beautiful picture of the wise and chaste keeper at home described in Proverbs 31. While every homemaker at times falls short of this scriptural ideal, when the godly keeper at home is faithful, her husband and children rise up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31:28), and her own works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:31). The joyful and satisfied life (Proverbs 31:25) that God gives a woman who is surrendered to His will is rich and fulfilling - yes, even passionate!